“At the Table” is a series of interviews and spotlight conversations with people I admire from within and outside of the wedding industry. These conversations focus on topics related to building an intentional, relationship-first business alongside a present, connected, values-driven personal life.
Introduction:
After years of hearing Elisa’s name, accompanied by the comment, “You two would be SUCH good friends!!”, we finally met in person in Charleston in December of 2022. It was an immediate “kindred spirit” moment, and has turned into the sweetest friendship. I consider Elisa the big sister I never had. Thrilled to share her words with all of you.
Follow Elisa’s company, Emerson James Rentals, via their website and IG.
THE INTERVIEW
→ First of all, tell me in your own words what you do for work, and why you do it?
The short answer I give people is “I rent plates”, but the longer answer is that while I started in the event industry as a photographer, I saw a gap in the market for hand crafted and unique pieces for setting tables. What we really do is identify missing pieces in the market and offer those to clients, who are primarily planners and designers. Enter Emerson James, which rents chargers, plates, glassware, flatware and accessories for special events. Our focus on tabletop rentals for special events means we’re able to provide truly unique items. We produce up and down the east coast (with a smattering of farther flung locations like Texas and California mixed in).
→ What does a typical day look like for you?
Weekdays are about planning (sending quotes, pulling samples for design meetings, updating orders, and so on) and weekends are about production (deliveries, pick ups, and being available for unforeseen client needs).
Each day is a mix of the core parts of my life (faith, family & friends, work, and self), and my life is very intertwined with my husband’s as we work together, parent and educate our children together, and try to keep two dogs under control.
I usually rise between 6am and 7am. Food is a huge part of our existence, so 95% of our meals are made from scratch, especially breakfast. Queue Virginia Woolf’s famous quote “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
Then it’s schoolwork for the kids and work for me. If they’re going to classes I head to the office, and if they’re home for the day, I’ll work from home or take them with me to the office.
Ideally, I’m either walking or going to pilates 5 days a week, but sometimes the work day is full and I wind up helping in the warehouse. On those days I definitely get my movement in, and I like being an extra set of eyes and hands to make sure items are pulled for an order or things are double counted before being put away. The beauty of what I do is there can be a balance of office / thinking work and warehouse / physical work for which I’m incredibly grateful. Even if I can’t get movement in, I’m always trying to care for myself with good practices at home to detox and destress.
I do love my sleep, so if there aren’t events keeping me out I’m in bed by 10. I tried to burn the candle on both ends in my 20s and I learned I’m not built for it. I do my work best when I’m well rested!
→ In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says that every person has just two core values that shape everything else that they do or believe. Do you agree with that idea? If you could boil your values down to just two, what would they be? How do those influence how you do your work & live your life?
I think I could get on board with that idea, but I also immediately ask, why not one? Why not three? I’m curious (and a little bit of an anarchist by nature), so I’ll boil it down to one. Freedom, as an enneagram 4, is very important to me both for myself and for the world in general. Part of the reason I work so hard for myself rather than someone else is because I wanted the freedom to create a meaningful business that does good work. Another reason was I wanted the freedom to set my own schedule and raise my family the way I wanted and I knew that required a huge level of commitment on my part.
I built a life that includes hard won flexibility, but freedom goes beyond that to acknowledge we may disagree, yet we should have the ability to do so. Freedom in what we say and do is important. When you lobby to make others live the way you choose, you become a dictator. This commitment to freedom drives my work, my politics, my faith and my relationships. The beauty is, if someone has the freedom to choose to do something or not, you know you really have their buy in when someone says ‘yes’.
→ The British author Alain de Botton has this famous quote: “There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.” I tend to agree with this idea, that work-life balance is an unhelpful goal, and we should instead think about aligned values and healthy rhythms in all spheres of life. What do you think about the phrase “work-life balance?” How do keep healthy rhythms & momentum going in both work and personal spheres?
I’ve learned to focus on rhythms over schedules. I love my routines and habits, but they shift to acknowledge different seasons of life (my routine now looks so different than when I was single, married without kids, or my kids were little) and even different seasons. My work aligns with the literal seasons (we’re busy spring through fall when there’s more natural light and the days are longer). I work like a bee during those months, and shift dramatically in the winter when I tend to go to bed early, sleep longer, rest more, and relax to balance things out.
I learned early in my work life that there’s no such thing as balance, but rather than that being a defeating thought (“oh no, I will never achieve it!”), it was a freeing one (“there’s no such thing, so I’m not failing”). What I’m looking at now is for my year to balance in the long haul as I shift focus for the seasonal demands of my work and my life.
I’ve also learned to lean into gratitude when things do feel balanced and calm, and to ask myself what I can learn from moments that don’t have that same equilibrium. Sometimes there’s nothing to fix, and these are just the circumstances in which I find myself. Then it’s as simple as acknowledging ‘this too shall pass’, and for that I can be grateful too.
→ Some people argue that a focus on people and a focus on profit are competing priorities, but I love talking about the ways that running a relationship-first business aids in building more profitable, sustainable businesses. What do you think about this idea? Are they competing ideas? Why or why not?
Since the majority of our business is returning clients, we would be foolish to focus only on profits and alienate our customers with anti-relationship behavior. Honestly, if you don’t focus on people, I don’t think you can be profitable in the long run. A profitable business that flourishes long-term has to invest in people both on the front / client facing end, and on the back end with its employees.
For this discussion, I’m focusing on the back end because I think that’s where people often go wrong.
We’re a high morale, low turnover company. The hospitality industry has notoriously high turnover, often ranging from 70-80% annually. We blow that statistic out of the water simply because we made a point of creating an environment that is a welcoming place to work.
Our standards are high, the job isn’t glamorous, so why do our employees stay? We see them, we encourage them, communicate well with them, pay them well, and in turn we have their loyalty.
Why wouldn’t I invest in my people? If I have a well trained employee with a high work ethic, why would I treat them poorly and then run the risk they’ll leave and I’ll have to search for, hire, and train a replacement who may be inferior in work quality? Where is the profit in that?
→ What are some ways that running a people-first business has benefited you? How has it benefited others?
Our focus on our people means they feel appreciated, and we see this in the way they bring their friends in as well. I’m thinking of 2 people on our team right now who have brought a total of eight additional employees onto our team just by knowing friends and wanting to offer them work in an environment like ours. Those are all incredible team members we didn’t have to find, and it’s created this great relational dynamic.
→ Our culture and our industry is fast—trends come and go in the blink of an eye, and there’s just so much noise, especially on social media. It can be tempting to believe that the only way to stand out is to add to the noise, to follow trends, to make a bigger flash than our competitors. But what if you’re a quiet brand? I have written about the difference between Fireworks and Fireplace brands here. Would you say that your business is more of a fireworks display or a fireplace? How does that influence how you market?
We’ve always been a quiet brand. Early on we got asked to grow quickly and in ways that didn’t line up with our core vision. We were asked for furniture and linens and while we agree there have been gaps in the market there too, our focus was and is on providing tabletop rentals that are set apart. These were easy ways to grow that just didn’t line up for us and our long term goals. While we love growing by custom request, the item has to fit into what we’re currently doing (ie. tabletop, layers well with other pieces in our line, etc.). That emphasis on each of our items needing to line up with our vision is part of what makes us a fireplace brand.
→ How do you stay authentic when it often feels that “fake it ‘til you make it” energy is rewarded?
This one is, in a way, not very hard for me! As an enneagram 4, authenticity is such a core element of who I am, that I’m basically allergic to anything that rings as inauthentic or false and its easy for me to discern. I knew early on in life I wasn’t made for small talk. Don’t ask me about the weather or the state of the roads. Let’s talk about real things, hard things, good things. How is your mom? What are you dreaming of for this year? Who broke your heart, and how did you mend it? In my experience, it’s authenticity that gets rewarded, because I know very quickly who my people are and who isn’t. I look at the ‘fake it till you make it’ energy and it feels like such a loss. It’s unattractive. You have no idea who is really on your team and who you can trust, because you never took the first step to trust them in the first place. Where’s the reward in that?
→ What is bringing you joy in your work right now?
I love the anticipatory nature of my work. I get a window into the design of these stunning events and our team gets to be a part of custom acquisition and production for these events. It’s truly a thrill to be a part of making an event go from good to great.
→ If we were to meet here a year from now, what do you hope we would be celebrating?
We’ve had some incredibly successful years, so I’m looking to really get our feet under us this coming year as we plan for the long term. Firm footing never gets overhyped in my estimation, and I hope we’ll be toasting a solid, planful, strategic year.
→ Final question: what is the number one book you recommend to every creative entrepreneur?
You might laugh, but I’d recommend The Whole Brain Child, by Dan Siegel & Tina Bryson. It’s not a business book, but it gets you into the mind of a child while their brain is still developing and making connections, and (when we’re in an emotional state) what’s happening inside our brain. I initially read it as a parent, but immediately started implementing it in my day to day life. The more you understand the human mind and how it works, the greater you become as a relational human being, a parent, a spouse, a friend, a business owner, a boss, a sales person - the list goes on!