“At the Table” is a series of interviews and spotlight conversations with people I admire from within and outside of the wedding industry. These conversations focus on topics related to building an intentional, relationship-first business alongside a present, connected, values-driven personal life.
Introduction:
I was introduced to Kelly through Jacin Fitzgerald, and felt an instant connection. Kelly is, as Jacin would say, a “PLU” (people like us). She shares a deep love for excellence in hospitality, and a grounded sense of who she is and where she loves to serve within the wider wedding industry.
Follow Kelly via her website & IG.
THE INTERVIEW
→ First of all, tell me in your own words what you do for work, and why you do it?
I am a wedding planner and designer, primarily working with clients on full weekend experiences. I do it because I think it’s one of the greatest honors in life to be a part of someone’s wedding weekend. It’s a true moment in time for families, and I feel like it’s the most special work
→ What does a typical day look like for you?
I travel a lot for work, so there isn’t really a typical day. But if I’m home, I’m a 5-5:30am riser, and then I need a full hour by myself. Don’t wake up with me. Let me wake up first! I drink coffee, I meditate, and I read to start the day. And then I workout, do the whole morning routine with my daughter, and I’m to my desk between 9 and 10am. The end of the day depends on the day of the week and our childcare schedule. Afternoons & evenings vary, then we do our nighttime routine.
→ In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says that every person has just two core values that shape everything else that they do or believe. Do you agree with that idea? If you could boil your values down to just two, what would they be? How do those influence how you do your work & live your life?
Hard work is probably the one thing I believe in the most. I don’t think anything of value comes without a lot of hard work. I believe that, at the root of everything, I have to put in the work, I have to put in the hours. And I think when I don’t, I can see the difference. Everything feels so fast right now and so instant, but I just don’t believe in it. I think it takes a lot of time to make anything worthwhile.
And number two is kindness. Kindness for everyone, in my personal life and business life. I try to encourage my team and everyone we encounter, to greet everyone with kindness. It doesn’t matter who it is— staff, vendor, our clients, their families, guests, it doesn’t matter. Kindness is how we engage with everyone, and there’s no alternative.
→ The British author Alain de Botton has this famous quote: “There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.” I tend to agree with this idea, that work-life balance is an unhelpful goal, and we should instead think about aligned values and healthy rhythms in all spheres of life. What do you think about the phrase “work-life balance?” How do keep healthy rhythms & momentum going in both work and personal spheres?
I totally agree. I do not think there’s such a thing as a work-life balance. Not even close. I think that there are seasons. So, for example, if you’re in a growth season, there’s no balance on the opposite side. My personal life was completely at zero when I was trying to build something. Whenever it’s a season of growth, it automatically tips the scales.
I’ve tried to become better at is finding balance within shorter time frames. Balance within days, balance within weeks, and balance within months. Knowing that our business is so cyclical, during our busy seasons you just have to put your head down and get through it. And in those seasons, you just have to accept it. And then try to find a better kind of balance in the days and weeks and months following.
I heard Emma Grede talk about this once. She’s the CEO & Co-founder of Good American, a founding partner with SKIMS, and she has a great podcast. She said, “Anyone who says work-life balance exists is lying,” and I agree with her.
Sometimes I’ve tipped the scale too far to the work & travel side to find equilibrium, and I’ve had to have a gut check. But living with balance can’t be achieved at all times.
→ Some people argue that a focus on people and a focus on profit are competing priorities, but I love talking about the ways that running a relationship-first business aids in building more profitable, sustainable businesses. What do you think about this idea? Are they competing ideas? Why or why not?
I think it goes hand in hand, and I think people-first will be more profitable in the end. Relationships have always been my priority. I always think in the back of my mind, “People sell to people.” It’s all relationships. Maintaining those is important; leaving on a positive note always pays off in the end. The relationships I build today may not come to fruition for years and years and years, but they do come.
→ What are some ways that running a people-first business has benefited you? How has it benefited others?
All of our best referrals have come directly from people that have had great experiences with us. Sometimes they’re kind of subtle, like when a rental company says, “Yeah, they were great to work with.” And that’s the final nail in the coffin for that person to sign on. It’s how our business runs, mostly word of mouth and referrals.
→ Our culture and our industry is fast—trends come and go in the blink of an eye, and there’s just so much noise, especially on social media. It can be tempting to believe that the only way to stand out is to add to the noise, to follow trends, to make a bigger flash than our competitors. But what if you’re a quiet brand? I have written about the difference between Fireworks and Fireplace brands here. Would you say that your business is more of a fireworks display or a fireplace? How does that influence how you market?
Definitely fireplace. You know, quieter, comfy, cozy. I think our industry is really loud, and there’s a lot going on, and there’s always this pressure to keep up, get in the right circles, and younger brides are also subscribing to that. “I saw this on TikTok”, or “I saw this on Instagram.” So you feel the need to keep up with everything that’s going on. For me, that gets overwhelming.
I try to come back to basics. People hire us because they align with our personal values and our brand. So I need to keep blinders on, and focus more on what we’re putting out. We have to advertise, we have to be on social media, so I make sure that we’re putting out things that align with our brand, while remembering that we are playing the long game here. We are determined to be here for a long time. So I just keeping that in mind. Future thinking rather than being about trendy or loud.
→ How do you stay authentic when it often feels that “fake it ‘til you make it” energy is rewarded?
I keep the mindset that “it all comes back around.” Staying true to me is the only way I’m ever going to get anywhere that I want to be. So I just avoid the fake. Like I said, blinders on, keeping steady in what we’re doing, not getting distracted by the noise, not falling prey to the trends. People always tell me, “Show your face more!” Do this, do that. But it doesn’t feel right for me. I just always come back to what feels right for me and trust that in the long run, it will all end up as it should.
→ What is bringing you joy in your work right now?
It’s been really joyful to work on the back-end business side of things. It’s a bit of a slower part of my year, so I’ve spent a lot of time on systems and processes, looking back on the previous year and planning forward fro this one. It’s been nice to have some time to reflect a bit more than I’ve been able to im some off-seasons.
→ If we were to meet here a year from now, what do you hope we would be celebrating?
Hopefully celebrating some really great client projects that I’m proud of, working with kind people and families, and bringing their special weekends to life. Just doing work that I’m proud of.
→ Final question: what is the number one book you recommend to every creative entrepreneur?
Oh, well, obviously Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara, which I send to a lot of people in different industries. It’s applicable to everybody.
I’m really into neuroplasticity and meditation, so The Source by Dr. Tara Swart was one I read recently and loved.
And Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. I’m woo woo at my heart. Getting your mind right is important, especially in this business.
Thank you so much for having me and sharing our conversation! Love everything you are working on here 🤍