Somedays I feel as if my relationship to my work could best be described as “… complicated.” I absolutely adore my job—the literal act of creating beautiful photographs for couples and brands, and the autonomy that comes from running my own company, being my own boss.
And sometimes I resent my job. Some days I struggle to stay dialed into someone else’s story, sometimes the imposter syndrome explodes in my brain, sometimes I grow weary of it being all up to me, all of the time.
I would assume that I’m not alone in this feeling.
We’re on family holiday at the moment. I Brick my phone on vacation, which means I have hours to spend in the sun, free from scrolling distraction, with the sound of the ocean (nature’s best white noise) as background for my thoughts. Today’s train of contemplation circled around themes of happiness, contentment, complaint, and gratitude. I wrote a brief Instagram caption about gratitude yesterday, about how often I fall into thinking that because my everyday life isn’t “perfect photo-ready,” that it isn’t worth documenting or sharing. As if a thing can be reduced to “worthy” or “not worthy” simply because of what others might say about it.
2026 is my year to re-read my favorite business books, and I spent part of today listening to an all-time favorite, 10x Is Easier Than 2x, by Dan Sullivan & Benjamin Hardy. Chapter 3 is about scarcity versus abundance mindsets, and the authors talk about the idea of framing business growth as a “want” versus a “need.”
The authors say, "People don't get what they want because they're too busy seeking what they believe they need." Hearing these words flipped a scrip in my mind.
I’ve spent the last 48 hours telling my children things like, “No, you may not complain about this. You’re on vacation, you’re swimming in the ocean, you need to choose gratitude instead of complaining that your brother isn’t sharing the fishing net that he just started using and you didn’t know existed until five minutes ago.” Little Girl said she needed it, but she didn’t. But thinking of it as a need prompted overwhelming discontent. Reframing it as a want makes it optional, and helped her to wait.
And yet it took listening to this concept applied to business for my brain to “click.”
I immediately pulled up a Note on my phone and started talking to to it, taking the things I feel are “needs” and reframing them as “wants.” A whole new world just opened up.
I don’t need to outsource my Instagram. I’m good at it. But I do want to outsource my Instagram so I can spend my creative energy elsewhere.
I don’t need for my work to be published or featured or selected for the “best of” lists. My brand is strong on its own, without that external validation. I want my work featured because it increases visibility, AEO/GEO referrals, and helps new-to-me planners trust me.
I don’t need to interview the top wedding professionals around the world for Substack in order to validate my work or my brand position. My brand is strong as-is. I want to interview them because I’m curious, genuinely curious about their success and their value systems.
I don’t need to go to Engage, or get invited to Kindred, or asked to shoot FAM trips. I have deep, rich, far-reaching relationships within the wedding industry already. If I go to any of these, it’s because I want to.
Do you know what I felt when I wrote all of this? IMMEDIATE RELIEF. I breathed! Moving something from the category of “need” to “want” removes all of the pressure.
I don’t need to get an invite to Kindred in order for my business to thrive. Would I like to be invited? Sure. Who doesn’t want to feel wanted? But because it’s in the category of “want,” I can take it or leave it. If it’s in the category of “need,” then my business, my brand, and my future in the industry will not survive without it.
Have you tried this mental switch? Has it helped you? Let’s talk about it!!
I’m always reminding myself - I GET to do these things! Lucky me!